The Importance of Being Not-So-Critical

I find some people are more critical in others, of course. This is most important when the work being done is important or have a safety impact, but most of the time, they are not. Most of the time too, recognising the effort is more important than looking things through a critical lense.

For example when a person comes to you with their work, we should try to understand how much of an effort it is not only to do the work, but also to come and SHOW the work. Showing your work requires a lot of courage, even more when you know it is going to be reviewed critically. So sometimes it is a big relief to not being judged but instead being appreciated. I find this is harder for me, and also from Asian culture, where works or tasks are task not for the effort, but for what went wrong. We joke sometimes like the Asian parents being presented with a 98% exam result, and was asked where the 2% marks went to, but it is really not a healthy place to be in. I myself can’t help it sometimes; I was presented with a report card of my daughter the other day, and I asked why was there a one percent missing from the attendance. The teacher was kind enough to offer and go and check, but then I checked myself and said it was okay.

Recently my son did something differently with an art piece, and his sister pointed out that he did a mistake. He replied that he did it wrong, and it was okay because that is how he learnt. I solemnly swear that I didn’t make that dialogue up, but I can happily say I was very proud of him for saying that. I myself struggled to make mistake, so much so, that when I decided to take IRSE exams that is being paid by the company, I asked my manager whether it is okay if I do not pass. He said the same thing that my son said, that is okay to fail and that is how he learnt about most things.

I am not sure whether it was easier to fail or not in the old days, but it is harder to not expect greatness these days, when you try something new. This is because it is so easy to see great work being done, without seeing the hard work needed for it. I wrote about it before here. But we as humans need to learn to accept this, and not to be so critical, not only to others, but also to ourselves. As part of that, I am trying to accept that my work are not always great, that my posts would likely be bland (hence reasons why some are so short, I feel slightly ashamed of posting them) or that I might have failed my recent exams.

But that is how I learnt new things, by being not-so-critical.

Thank you for reading.