Easy for him to say –
Recently while browsing social media, I noticed a friend who in my eyes, managed to achieve a lot at his age. Then I remembered someone telling me that this guy was from some elite school or college, which promptly caused my mind to discredit his achievement. In my mind I said, “No wonder he’s at that stage, he had an advantage from this and that.”
As you can see, this is not a helpful way of thinking and I tried to correct myself by thinking that, not everyone from his school or college, managed to achieve what he has achieved now. Even the opposite, if someone from a same background is presented, I might think less of the guy, saying in my mind, “Even with his advantage from this and that, he’s not achieved what his peers have achieved.”
You see, that is still not a good way of thinking. I realised this is similar to the Aesop paradox, where whatever you’re decision (or state) is, commenters will still find something to add, and in the cases above, to discredit you. You’re damned if you do achieve something, you’re damned if you don’t, so you might as well try as hard to succeed. In the end, where you come come from is not that important. It is important enough that it would give you certain advantage, but it is not the sole determining factor. An example I heard was that if you type faster, you can finish a book faster. Oh the naivety in that, as I personally can attest that even if you can type faster, the book itself won’t be finish if you don’t write at all. Typing faster helps, but it is not the critical factor. Whether you type or not, that is the sole important factor.
Looking from another view, we also discredit advices given to us, by comparing to the person giving the advice. “Easy for him to say, he’s done etc etc.”
I fall to this mistake often. But then again, would I accept an advice from someone who was not successful in the field itself? Naturally not! I would think, “Hah, he himself doesn’t know how to do it!”
I guess what I am trying to say is that this both situations comes from me being arrogant and haughty, and I need to be humble and to both accept advices from people and accept people for what they are/achieved. insyaAllah.
Thank you for reading.