The Grass is Always Greener

I’ve been reading quite a few posts in a Facebook group mentioning or asking for opinions on moving to the UK, i.e. migrating from Malaysia and I thought that I would write them down here. This is more for my own records, as opinions change and it would be interesting to read it in later years when I might, or might not, have different opinion on things. You are welcome to take whatever it is worth from this. Also, I have read quite a number of discouraging comments on migrating to the UK, that I feel that I have to write something, part of it to justify to them but mostly to make peace with myself (that I have made the right decision, haha!).

Let’s start with the bad. There are things that you’ll be missing out; the food, the family and the places are the tops things that come to my mind. The gravity of the situation depends on the person. For me, the food is not a problem as me and my family normally home cook anyway and we rarely eat out in Malaysia, so it is not that bad here. Plus UK has a lot of halal and even Malaysian restaurants.

Hardest for me would be the family as when you migrate, you would probably not see your family more than once a year, even if that is possible. The cost is simply too high. I lost my father during my first year of study about a decade ago, and have since then made my motto that the goodbyes are most likely going to be last I’ll say to the family members. This is especially true if your parents are senior citizen. True to that, my father-in-law passed away on my first year me being in the UK, and my mother-in-law on my second. Other than death, you’ll probably miss the inaugural events such as the birthdays or weddings of your loved ones. To me, the distance to the family, figuratively and literally, is the hardest ‘sacrifice’ that I make and affect me most, and if you feel the same, weigh your choices carefully.

Places are things that I see people complain and missing out such as hanging out at mamak, playing futsal or day trip during the weekend, or even going to their favourite mall. Again I don’t mind much on this since I am not outgoing or very sociable. I’ve seen people investing or diverting their time and hobbies to something else when they migrate, but this really depends on what swings your boat. And that depends on your spending, whether your boat is a kayak, or a yacht.

The usual comparison is that these activities in Malaysia are cheap, while in the UK they are expensive. Short answer, yes, entertainment in UK are more expensive. Services cost a lot and they are not the same level as in Malaysia. But this has always been true and is the reason why Europeans go for their holidays in the South-East Asian countries. I’d say just accept this and go for holiday when you go back to Malaysia. At least in that way you’ll be getting your money worth AND supporting the country’s tourism.

The cost of living is also said to increase. Bills have risen and there is this substantial tax imposed by local authority (in addition to income tax) that charges based on your house valuation. It is similar to cukai pintu but is used to pay for a lot of things including the bin collections, school expenditures and also local amenities. All these adds up and it take a sizeable portion of your income. I understand why some people feel cheated by this, especially if there are single or without children.

As for me, my children benefitted as they can go to school free of charge. There is no fee, not even ‘yuran PIBG’. There is also no books or stationeries to be bought, and children below 9 years old get free lunch. Other than that, I only have to pay for the occasional school trips and buy uniforms. The school was however generous enough that it gave a few pairs each for my kids, uniforms from previous students that were passed down. I was surprised by this since my assumption of the people in UK was that since it is a developed country, everything would be glitzy and brand new. I’ll probably write more on this in another post, but the summary is people here are quite conscious of their spending and using passed down is a common thing. In addition the ones from the school, we also bought some used clothes from thrift/charity shops, which were in good condition. Another thing that we benefit is the local amenity, and one of it is the local library. It is a quaint and small building, located within 15 minutes walk. More than half of it is filled with children books and you can borrow 10 books each for 3 weeks duration! I remember most libraries in Malaysia allows only 2-4 books and 2 weeks duration. And you have to drive to the library and spend a long time looking for parking.

Here in the UK, at least where I live in, almost everything is within walking distance. UK is still car-centric, in the sense most people drive to work through traffics jams and take long drive for a vacation, but most points of interest are still accessible by walking or public transport. I am lucky Alhamdulillah to live just a stone’s throw away from my office. I am not the exception as two of my colleagues live within the same vicinity. I send my children to school along the way before I get to work, as the school is just on the opposite side of the park. The library I mentioned just now is on the same road as my local GP (general practitioner aka doctor), a supermarket and a pharmacy. Having a car has its benefit and will increase mobility, no doubt, but it is not uncommon for people to not have a car. In Malaysia, it was a necessity. You start working, you take a loan on a car. Thankfully I’ve been working for 6 months and still ‘carless’.

So although the necessities are not that cheap (petrol is not that cheap in Malaysia anyway, pound to ringgit wise), most costs can be done without, here in the UK. Not having a car as a necessity is a huge savings. And I haven’t come to my last and most important point, which is the cost of daily groceries, the main necessity. Although people are complaining, the cost of material in the UK is still very, very low. You can get a full cart of groceries for GBP50 (~RM300), which is very low since you earn in pound. Staple food such as potatoes cost pennies per pound. Rice is around GBP 1 per kg. ‘Exotic’ asian ingredients might cost more but if you don’t mind bending your taste bud a bit, and cooking yourself, the cost of food is very low.

I think I’ve written long enough to give a general picture. There’s always the but in every statement and for this post, the but is in the title, “But the grass is always greener on the other side.” Sometimes I do wish to be back in Malaysia but I know what it’s like and for now my plan is to work in the UK. Hope my rambling will help you in case you are in a position to decide.

Thank you for reading.