Advice and Being Supportive

I’ve mentioned before that some people don’t want advice. And I try not to dole them out, unwarranted. However today someone did asked my opinion, regarding working in the UK but halfway talking it out, I realised that this guy didn’t really want my opinion. My wife then came along and I dragged her through the discussion. Afterwards she shared my opinion, that the guy didn’t want my opinion, rather wanted an affirmation. Or maybe he has already made up his mind, and he just some opinions to support his decision.

Which my wife said that I could do so, by being supportive of his decision. Or to just cheer along. I then remember an ex-colleague who often comes along and say, “Boleh ni Faris, boleh.” (you can do it Faris), to which I would reply, “Apa yang boleh?” (Which part I can, are you referring to?)
He was being supportive, I think, although I tend to disagree. Being supportive is telling what I want to be told, so that if I am making a shitty decision, I would like people to warn me beforehand. If I still decide to ignore the advice and continue with my decision, then so be it.

Of course the way it is delivered is important. It is a balance in being kind and supportive, but still not sugar-coating things. Going back to the guy, I just nodded and wish him all the best. I am not that supportive person he is looking for.

Thank you for reading.

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