Advice and Being Supportive

I’ve mentioned before that some people don’t want advice. And I try not to dole them out, unwarranted. However today someone did asked my opinion, regarding working in the UK but halfway talking it out, I realised that this guy didn’t really want my opinion. My wife then came along and I dragged her through the discussion. Afterwards she shared my opinion, that the guy didn’t want my opinion, rather wanted an affirmation. Or maybe he has already made up his mind, and he just some opinions to support his decision.

Which my wife said that I could do so, by being supportive of his decision. Or to just cheer along. I then remember an ex-colleague who often comes along and say, “Boleh ni Faris, boleh.” (you can do it Faris), to which I would reply, “Apa yang boleh?” (Which part I can, are you referring to?)
He was being supportive, I think, although I tend to disagree. Being supportive is telling what I want to be told, so that if I am making a shitty decision, I would like people to warn me beforehand. If I still decide to ignore the advice and continue with my decision, then so be it.

Of course the way it is delivered is important. It is a balance in being kind and supportive, but still not sugar-coating things. Going back to the guy, I just nodded and wish him all the best. I am not that supportive person he is looking for.

Thank you for reading.

Similar Posts

  • The Cart Before The Bus

    Apparently the news in my home country, in respect to public transport, is that the government and some companies, is planning to introduce an autonomous self-driving bus. Needless to say, this caught people’s attention. But it is still in trial, and it is not clear when the technology will be mature enough to be in…

  • Kids and Calamity

    We were watching a documentary of the missing Malaysian flight MH370 recently. It was quite interesting although a bit too dramatised for me. When we wanted to watch it, my wife and I said to our children that this happened years ago, back when the oldest of them was still in the womb. I also…

  • Under promise

    There’s a saying in project management, or even the corporate world, that you should under promise but overdeliver, i.e. you say you can do something by the end of the week but you try to finish it even earlier, for example by the middle of the week, or even earlier, like the end of the…

  • Commitment in Life

    I listened to a podcast recently about a software developer saying yes to every opportunity that comes his way. He said, “How can I say no, right?!” He then related that he is feeling burnt out. I am nowhere at the same level as work life balance in the UK is relatively better than in…

  • Birth dates

    Usually when you pick up medicines from the pharmacy, there’s a verification process where they ask you your address. In other places, sometimes this verification involves asking your birth date. I have always wondered how is this safe? The date is not that secret as most people would announce it either by bringing cakes to…

  • Parenting and Marketing

    It is said that among the least effective form of parenting is the ‘Threat Method’ where you compel your children to do something in return for not being penalized. It is sometimes used alone or most of the time, it is always at the end of a ‘Cajouling Method’. “Be a good boy and tidy…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *