Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It – Audiobook Review
The title itself is interesting, isn’t it? I remembered seeing the title and was intrigued to read it but the price set me back. Recently however I was feeling a bit down and felt not treated fairly at work, so I decided to treat myself to this book, and maybe gain some insight into how to negotiate.
As most reviewers mention, the introduction seems a bit heavy in selling the author’s capability, how he is so capable in negotiation and how he saved hostages numerous times during his times at FBI. It might make some readers balk, but the chapters afterwards are less ‘sell-like’ and instead focus more on the techniques. Some of the techniques are known to me and are often quoted in para-psychology books, such as Mirroring (repeating the last words of another person, to encourage them to talk more) but some are new, such as Labelling (creating a statement that ‘baits’ the other person to respond or elaborate, either in agreement or disagreement). And like the author said, these techniques really depend on the delivery, and also circumstances (where a single information can change the approach needed totally).
Being an audiobook, I feel that it has the advantage where the intonation and inclination can be heard as the voice reads the dialogue. It helps to understand how the technique needs to be applied. And the voice is really suitable with the book, as his voice is big and sonorous, sounding much like a ‘macho’ man. I’ve seen video by Chris Voss, the author, and I must say the voice for this audiobook seems more suitable as it sounds way more bad-ass.
The book also presents many situations where the author or his students, managed to apply the techniques outlined. They are very specific and further lends a better understanding of how to apply them in negotiation. Needless to say, most of the stories tell of huge success. However I really appreciate that the author do add stories where the negotiation failed, and in these cases, he showed that execution plays a huge factor. All the skills, techniques and preparations do not confirm success, if emotions are not kept in check.
And to that note, I am eager to apply what I learn but still feel nervous of applying any of it. The author says that in order to get the best out of negotiation, I must embrace the uncomfortable feeling that comes with the negotiation and remember problem is not the other person, but rather the issue to be solved. The other person is not my adversary, rather my partner.
I’ll try to remember that the next time I have to negotiate (as if my life depended on it) and I feel like fleeing. The book also helps in identifying ourselves and acknowledging that some people are better at negotiating through certain ‘types’. Assertive types tend to talk a lot and pushy, Accommodating types are talkative and tend to meander, while Analyst type tend to spend much time in preparation but are brusque during negotiation. I am the Analyst type, and need to smile more during negotiation, or so the book says.
There are much more that the book says and I must admit I didn’t get it all the first time. I probably have to read the book again sometime in the future In summary though, this book is a very recommended read especially for managers and sales, but also for any one as we face negotiation almost every day and this book might be helpful.
